Did you ever have a joke fall flat? I certainly have. And I’m sure some I’ve heard some that I’ve taken the wrong way. I think it illustrates the difference between intentions and
perceptions. A successful joke along these lines is “Who’s on first, what’s on second and I dunno’s on third.” When hearing Abbot and Costello do it, it still makes me laugh like I’m hearing
it for the first time. But however successful the joke, or not, and however well intended or pure an intention may be, depending on the person on the other end, it may be perceived in an
unintended way.

Intentions and perceptions. The gap between the two are sometimes wide. Of course someone who preaches at a pulpit experiences this quite frequently, but it is not an uncommon
dilemma for anyone who is trying to do any sort of communication. There are even entire studies done on how all the psychological and social unknowns of one person will reflect on how
what they hear will be perceived. It isn’t hard to imagine or understand. Sometimes the person on the receiving end isn’t even aware of it all. At my last eye doctor visit it was explained about
the coursework and practicums that are utilized in this for those who work with the ill.

But even for those who don’t do coursework in these things, just from experience, I think
we all learn how intentions and perceptions are sometimes garbled between one person and another. One of my favorite sayings that I tell myself and sometimes others, that never caught
on, is “what is said is not always what is heard.” I imagine my saying never caught on because it may seem to blame the listener-that they weren’t paying attention or listening the right way. Fair
enough. But it comes from a simpler place—what one person says is simply not what another person hears. No fault to anyone most of the time.

When I revise my pulpits, I often go over the many ways people may hear what I’m trying to say, only in an off-putting way. Of course this doesn’t prevent me from being off-putting, but at
least I’ve tried and have learned to live with the consequences. Fortunately most people give me the benefit of the doubt. I can see the gap between intentions and perceptions carried out
over and over again, by myself and others, in words and actions, even away from the pulpit.

I think this is one of my favorite parts of our covenant and one that I frequently return to and find so unique; that we assume good intentions. We may eventually be proven otherwise,
but I think most of the time starting from this vantage point is more beneficial than not. I don’t know how far we can take this in the world at large, but I always think it’s a good place to start
when dealing with one another.